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SHE WAS SO BLONDE...
....she thought a quarterback was a refund.
....she thought General Motors was in the army.
....she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
....at the bottom of an application, where it says "sign here", she wrote Sagittarius.
SHE WAS SOO BLONDE...
....she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
....she sent a fax with a stamp on it.
....she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
....under "education" on a job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
SHE WAS SOOO BLONDE...
....she tripped over a cordless phone.
....she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
....she told me to meet her at the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."
....she asked for a price check at the Everything For A Dollar Store.
....she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
SHE WAS SOOOO BLONDE....
....she studied for a blood test.
....she sold her car for gas money.
....when she went to the airport and saw a sign that read "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
SHE WAS SOOOOO BLONDE...
....when she heard that 90% of all crimes occurred around home, she moved.
....she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
....she thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
....she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
....and finally,
SHE WAS SOOOOOO BLONDE...
....she had a shirt that said TGIF, which she thought stood for 'Tit's Go In Front
Minneapolis police reported that some individual attempted to "egg" Mike Tice's house last night. An empty egg carton was recovered at the scene. Two eggs hit Mr. Tice's house, 3 eggs went over his house and hit his neighbor's back door, 2 eggs hit the houses of each of his next door neighbors, and the remaining 3 eggs were found broken on the ground near the carton from where the individual threw them. Looking at what was hit, police officials say they are considering Daunte Culpepper as a suspect.
Two families move from India to America. When they arrive, the fathers make each other a bet -- in a year's time, whichever family has become more American will win. A year later when they meet again, the first guy says, "My son's playing baseball, I had McDonald's for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud for tonight. How about you?" The second guy says, "Fuck you, towel-head!"
For those of you who don't live in "The Banana Belt" of North Dakota, Jeff Foxworthy recently performed at the Prairie Knights Casino (south of Mandan) down here. This is part of his act: .....................